Malo and Just Really, Really Malo

This is my first twosome.

I know that sounds at once intriguing and disturbing. That's the way I do things. Things may seem normal, but scratch the surface, and a whole other level of weird is uncovered. It's a way to keep things interesting. Trust me -- I'm married.

Now, I'm not talking about odd sexual proclivities here; rather, I'm just drawing attention to the fact that this posting marks the first review wherein I've tackled two different establishments at the same time. If you find this in any way confusing, please see my above comments regarding "keeping it interesting."

In any case, I think you'll fins comparing these two places is a fairly adept way to go about things. First, both are located in Los Feliz -- or is one in Silverlake? Anyway, you can walk between them. Secondly, both are "cantina-type" establishments that take pride in their respective 5pm-7pm Happy Hours. Third, both are...well, I guess the similarities end there.

On the one hand, Cuba Libre on Vermont seems like a fairly straightforward Happy Hour destination. Not surprisingly, the food and beverages skew Cuban. That's good, I suppose, if you take away the whole trade embargo thing. Copious specials are well-signed to lure in foot traffic. Also good. But again, if you scratch the surface, you'll find it's something else entirely. Basically, it's a crummy Happy Hour destination. Drinks are weak, the place is as empty as a Baptist church in Riyadh, and I'm pretty sure it used to be a Thai/Pan-Asian restaurant of some sort. I don't know -- all I know is that I had been there before, and probably won't be going back. At least not as long as my Whiskey Soda is so heavy on the soda.

Owners, take heed. I know it's Happy Hour, and you're bummed that you can't charge me $10 for that bevereage you've plunked in front of me, but guess what? A strong (or at least regular-strength) drink means a return customer. End of story.

Malo's owners sem to understand this. Their Happy Hour shines in comparison with Cuba Libre's, if for no other reason than their Happy Hour pushes their signature margaritas. I was watching like a hawk, and it seems tough to water down a made-on-the-spot margarita. I guess it could be done, but with all that effort...wouldn't it just be easier to get me drunk enough to where I want another one? I know I didn't order a margarita at Cuba Libre, but I agree with the spirit of Malo's bartenders here -- make a decent drink on the first round, and you've got yourself a return customer. That return customer is me, by the way.

The Vitals: Malo, good. Cuba Libre, not as good. In fact, I'll go so far as to say there's really not much of a comparison. I didn't try the food at either place this time (hey, I know I'm a reviewer and all, but even I can't choke down more food than my body will allow. Drinks, on the other hand...). I have, however, eaten at Malo before, and it was more than decent. Great, even. Beef and Pickle tacos? Nice. And the deals are square at $2 per. Cuba Libre also has decent food specials ($1.95 fish tacos, other various delicious-sounding options), but you'll have to wait until I'm hungry again to get the skinny on that. Suffice to say, the food options at both places are empty-wallet friendly, but Cantina Malo takes the South-of-some-Border-or-another cake when it comes to beverages.

Next up? Back to the regular-sized, one-at-a-time updates. For everyone's sake.