This (Liquid) Kitty Has Claws

Name: Liquid Kitty
Coordinates: 11780 W. Pico Blvd., 90064
Neighborhood: West LA, but spiritually closer to Downtown
Happiest Hours: M-F 5pm-8pm and all night Sundays, plus rock-bottom "Recession" pricing on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
Apparently, even nightlife impresarios, including The Single-handed Savior of Downtown Los Angeles, have to get their start somewhere.

I mean, of course, in this case Cedd Moses, whose march to conquer the the Downtown LA nightlife scene has been met with cheers, thrown laurels, and winsome and comely girls of virtue true. That's unlike Sam Nazarian's march through Hollywood, was more like the Soviet Union's march through Eastern Europe. Except for, you know, the whole "selling out to reality television" thing.

The difference, though, is while Nazarian (and his minion, Brent Bolthouse) make clubs and nightspots that celebrities and the people who care about celebrities want to go to, Moses and his 213Downtown collective make bars that LA people want to go to. Given the choice between going to Area or Hyde and Seven Grand or the Golden Gopher, I'll take the latter two every time, as will the vast majority of locals I know. Clubs like Area are for people who think that's what LA is like all the time, while Moses's bars are for people who are glad that clubs like Area exist to draw the gawkers and the shiny-black-shoes crowd away from the good places.

The only bummer about this whole dime-store-psychology breakdown of the LA bar scene is this -- for us Westsiders, it's a bit of a hike to make it Downtown, and into Moses-controlled turf. And, while that may technically be true, I -- being your intrepid, Sherpa-like guide and host -- found a little loophole that you can bust out in case of emergency.

Did you know that Cedd Moses used to own Liquid Kitty? Until a couple of weeks ago, I didn't.

But you know, now that I DO know that fact, it all kind of makes sense. Here's a bar that's been around a while, serves pretty great drinks that are made with care and good ingredients, and whose decor/overall theme hearkens back to a simpler, more drink-oriented time. And, given the kind of businesses and buildings that surround Liquid Kitty, it wasn't in the world's best or coolest neighborhood when it first opened. In that sense, the LA bar scholar can look at Liquid Kitty as a sort petri dish, or test kitchen, for Moses's grand designs on Downtown.

The Vitals: Liquid Kitty serves booze. Great big glasses of booze. No appetizers. No small bites menu. In fact, no food at all. Only booze. But, despite the "Swingers"-era-looking neon martini glass sign out front, they do a little bit more than just six ounces of chilled vodka in a glass. Rather, they have some nice, old-school cocktails made with care by (in this case) Damian, a 12-year veteran of the place. Prices and specials are good -- $4 well drinks, $4 "Lowlifes"( i.e, a shot and a can of PBR), and $9 specialty drinks, which are jumbo-yet-well-made cocktails like the Manhattan and the Sazerac. Moreover, there's none of this "ultralounge" pretentious bullshit that pervades Hollywood -- in fact, Liquid Kitty has much more of a classic-but-divey feel about it, just like Moses's latest Downtown efforts. So, in a sense, the place is not only a sociological middle ground of Moses's career as a nightlife maven (he doesn't have a stake in the place anymore), but it's also a place to witness the changing tastes of LA's nightlife culture as a whole. It's almost like "Mad Men," which attempts to show the transition between "The Greatest Generation" and the Boomers. That's my pitch -- if Liquid Kitty were a TV show, it would be "Mad Men." And if "Mad Men" was a bar, it would be Liquid Kitty.
Or hell, maybe it's just a good bar with great deals.

Laissez les Bon Temps Roulez!

Name: Bourbon Street Shrimp
Coordinates: 10928 W. Pico Blvd., 90064
Neighborhood: Walking distance...I mean, West LA
Happiest Hours: Daily, 5-8pm

Let me be frank about something up front. I've never been to New Orleans, and I'm in no particular hurry to arrange and execute my inaugural visit.

While I can certainly appreciate the history of the place -- French Colonialism, Battle of New Orleans, Crazy Jim Garrison, The Vampire Lestat -- it just doesn't appeal to me. I'm sorry to anyone who might be from there, and I certainly don't mean any disrespect in light of the city's many problems -- crushing poverty, a high murder rate, or proximity to unfortunate weather. Although I think living in a city that's below sea level carries with it a certain amount of inherent risk, I feel for those savaged by Hurricane Katrina and those who feel like a piece of their culture was lost as a result of said hurricane. Hell, I even don;t mean to offend those people who love to pull up their shirts to get beaned in the face with plastic beads. All I know is that NOLA, Mardi Gras, JazzFest, and malarial heat and swamp denizens just don't appeal to me.

I do, however, share one commonality with residents with New Orleans and, for that matter, like 99.9% of humanity. I like shrimp. And as most people know, I like a Happy Hour that that offers a great value. And, if the two are combined, I also dislike driving after experiencing the same.

It is this peculiar mix of circumstances that leads me to Bourbon Street Shrimp time and time again.

Now, I'll admit the place has its certain charms -- attractive and attentive staff, proximity to my apartment, and hearty beverages -- as well as its drawbacks. The food is only OK, the clientele might not be the cream of the cultural crop, and let's face it -- any Cajun-themed place that names itself "Bourbon Street" anything is probably pretty lacking in imagination. Bourbon Street Shrimp on Pico, though, outweighs these drawbacks with one secret weapon -- a great, lengthy Happy Hour just dripping with value.

The Vitals: Simply put, even if you ignore the so-so menu, Bourbon Street Shrimp's Happy Hour is pretty damn great. First, it goes EVERY DAY from 5-8pm. That fact alone puts it head and shoulders above most places. Secondly, it offers "2-for-1" Ketel One, Jack Daniels, and margaritas. Thus, an $8 dollar vodka and soda becomes a stout double. Do the math. It's a good deal. And finally, there's a healthy selection of $4 appetizers, and all entrees are half-priced. Hey, where I come from, half-priced "meh" is better than full-priced "oh, splendid." And frankly, there are some things on the menu that are pretty great. Their tacos, for one, as well as their blackened shrimp both do the trick. And the place stays busy enough to assure me that there food isn't the swill some reviewers on Yelp seem to say it is. Not that I've ever really trusted the Yelp community to give solid reviews, but still. I guess it's just another one of many strikes against Yelp, and another tally in the "yes" column for HappyHourLA. Was it the best food ever at a Happy Hour? No. Was it sufficient to line a certain patron's stomach so he wouldn't get too...happy off the 2-for-1 specials? Again, no. But was it a good Happy Hour? Absolutely yes.

Take that, Yelp. You've proven my point yet again -- never, ever trust anyone who actively refers to themselves as a "foodie." That's like calling yourself a "hipster." And honestly, who would do that?

Maybe I'm Amazed

Sometimes even I, as jaded as I often am, can be surprised.

It started out, as so many of our lives' stories so often do, with our first destination being closed.

For some reason, Matteo's is closed on Mondays. I had read about their new Happy Hour (both early and later-night) and wanted to check it out. I'm not sure why I was hankering to see this place. Maybe it was the fact that the place is sort of old-timey, Sinatra-ringadingding-Rat Pack-esque. Maybe it was the fact that I heard the restaurant was dying after years of declining traffic and they turned to Our Hero, the Happy Hour, in these times of economic uncertainty. Maybe it's because it's within walking distance of my house.

Anyways, it was closed, we were bummed, it was a hundred goddamn degrees out, and we needed a Happy Hour to bouy our spirits. Luckily I remembered, even in my hunger and thirst, seeing a banner for a Happy Hour on Pico across from the (now extra-jankified!) Westside Pavilion.

What I didn't remember was that it was for Maria's Italian Kitchen, which, as my wife so snottily scoffed, is a local chain with locations all over town, including (gasp!) The Valley.

My wife is from The Valley -- it's a defense mechanism.

Anyway, we troop in, we sit, and we order. Hey! $4 well drinks! Hey! Half-off appetizers! Hey, these deals last till 7:00pm! Hey! The food isn't completely horrible!

Like I said, sometimes even I am surprised.

The Vitals: Happy Hour at Maria's Italian Kitchen isn't too shabby. Not touristy (at least not the West LA location) and, 90s-era decor notwithstanding, a suitably dark and cool place to tie one on. Half-price appetizers and $4 well drinks and wine make it worth swallowing your pride and checking out this chain establishment. Locations throughout LA, including the reviewed West LA location, Brentwood, Downtown, and various Valley outposts.

And hey, it's next door to a sex shop. Bonus.