A Troubling Obsess-shin

I've always been into Asian.

There's something about it -- the electronics, the cars, the...excuse me a minute. The food. I just can't get enough.

At least, that's what I thought. As it turns out, enough for me comes after being brought out about 10 plates of delicious, grilled meats and all the sides I can wolf down.

Sometimes, my obsessions get me into trouble. But this wasn't one of those times, since this is just business as usual at Shin, a Korean BBQ restaurant that, from the outside, looks like it was picked up by a tornado that tore through the Valley and was plunked down on the corner of Selma and Wilcox in Hollywood.

Shin, as it turns out, fits right in with its raucous Cahuenga Corridor (sorry -- I hate that term too) neighbors, except for a few key points. First of all, you can find parking near it. Secondly, with the exception of Citizen Smith, it's the only place within shouting distance that's not filled with completely horrible people and knob-jockeys. That's a plus where I come from. And third, the food. My God, the food.

The Vitals: Shin is the first place up for review on this site that tends to stretch the definition of Happy Hour, in that it's not your typical 4-7pm cocktails-and-apps kind of thing. Instead, they have a $25 all-you-can-eat special -- and believe you me, I tested the bounds of their policies. Apparently, this special started off as a Sundays-only thing, but I imagine the traffic on Sundays was enough to convince the owners to make it every day. Likely, this will turn out to be a wise decision, because only the proudest, bravest few can possibly eat $25 worth of meat. They also have various drink specials, including $1 sake shots. In all, this might not be the place to grab a drink and a small bite, but full meals with big groups need the Happy Hour treatment too.

Go in. Sit at the bar. Ask for Al. And wear your elastic-waisted pants.

In Which We Leave Cole's and Turn Left

I've always had mixed feelings about libraries.

On the one hand, I love books, and libraries have plenty of those. On the other hand, however, I dislike people coughing, people asking questions, people lingering for hours on computers, and people...well, you get the point.

These mixed feelings pretty much sum up how I felt about my trip to Library Bar.

Aptly enough, this Library has books too, although I didn't see too many people thumbing through a well-worn copy of Magic Mountain. I did, however, feel crowded and vaguely dissatisfied with the experience.

Library Bar had many of the trappings of a quality Happy Hour, but there was something just a tad awry. It was kind of like when you go to Canada -- you recognize all the elements you're seeing, they're just put together differently enough to make you miss the good ol' USofA. Well, that's what happens when I go to Canada, anyway.

The vitals: Library Bar has some decent drink specials ($4 Stellas, a few $5 cocktails like Cosmos and Martinis and Washington Apples [?]) and decent decor, although it was a bit crowded and suit-y for my tastes. Those suits seem to be having fun, but I'm sure they have fun when crushing independent businesses and downsizing, too. I also didn't see any particular food specials; at least, any extant food deals weren't made as apparent as the drink specials. Plus, my Washington Apple (which I tried simply as an experiment. Shut up.) was NOT made with Crown Royal, which I understand is de rigeur. On the upside, the Happy Hour DOES go until 8pm, which makes it worth the trip in my book. Anyplace that extends the Happiest of Hours is OK-ish by me.

Would I go back? Sure. Would I RUN back, knocking aside invalids and war veterans to get there before the deals ended? Ehhhh....maybe.

When You're Alone and Life Is Making You Lonely, You Can Always Go...

Living in Los Angeles, we sometimes lose touch with our past. New construction, new music, new noses -- these things pervade our world, especially out here on the Westside, where the oldest thing I've seen in a while is that Toyota Previa that makes a lot of noise outside my window every day.

That's why it's good, every now and then, to see something that's topped the century mark, stood the test of time, fought the good fight, and so forth.

Ladies and gentlemen, for both your Happy Hour and historical pleasures, I give you Cole's.

I'd been wanting to do a Downtown LA Happy Hour study and had a different course plotted, but when I saw Cole's, I called a serious audible. And I'm glad I did.

Now, I knew Cole's -- open since 1908, rumored to have a liquor license so old you can still get takeout. And I knew that nightlife maven Cedd Moses had taken over the place, so I didn't quite know what to expect.

What I got was an experience that could have only been made more authentic by the Wright Brothers flying past.

Great atmosphere, great sandwich, great drinks. Great.

The vitals: Cole's is more about the environment and experience than the Happy Hour deals. This is OK in my book, since it's the only place I've been to in this financial downturn that survived the last big one. In short, the deals aren't that great, but it's totally worth it. Two dollars off well drinks, one dollar off signature cocktails (which are prepared with the same aplomb as they were when William Howard Taft drank here, probably), and $4 half sandwiches. Again, not deals that the coupon-clipper in all of us is going ape over, but deals nonetheless; and, for this history nerd, more than enough to get me to come back.

Coming soon: more Downtown Happy Hour reviews.

Maybe I'm Amazed

Sometimes even I, as jaded as I often am, can be surprised.

It started out, as so many of our lives' stories so often do, with our first destination being closed.

For some reason, Matteo's is closed on Mondays. I had read about their new Happy Hour (both early and later-night) and wanted to check it out. I'm not sure why I was hankering to see this place. Maybe it was the fact that the place is sort of old-timey, Sinatra-ringadingding-Rat Pack-esque. Maybe it was the fact that I heard the restaurant was dying after years of declining traffic and they turned to Our Hero, the Happy Hour, in these times of economic uncertainty. Maybe it's because it's within walking distance of my house.

Anyways, it was closed, we were bummed, it was a hundred goddamn degrees out, and we needed a Happy Hour to bouy our spirits. Luckily I remembered, even in my hunger and thirst, seeing a banner for a Happy Hour on Pico across from the (now extra-jankified!) Westside Pavilion.

What I didn't remember was that it was for Maria's Italian Kitchen, which, as my wife so snottily scoffed, is a local chain with locations all over town, including (gasp!) The Valley.

My wife is from The Valley -- it's a defense mechanism.

Anyway, we troop in, we sit, and we order. Hey! $4 well drinks! Hey! Half-off appetizers! Hey, these deals last till 7:00pm! Hey! The food isn't completely horrible!

Like I said, sometimes even I am surprised.

The Vitals: Happy Hour at Maria's Italian Kitchen isn't too shabby. Not touristy (at least not the West LA location) and, 90s-era decor notwithstanding, a suitably dark and cool place to tie one on. Half-price appetizers and $4 well drinks and wine make it worth swallowing your pride and checking out this chain establishment. Locations throughout LA, including the reviewed West LA location, Brentwood, Downtown, and various Valley outposts.

And hey, it's next door to a sex shop. Bonus.

This Isn't My First Rodeo (Drive)

So when undertaking your review of vaunted, favorite, respected, and otherwise well-known happy hours of the greater Los Angeles area, why not begin with one most people know about? To wit, today we begin our reviews with the venerable McCormick and Schmick's.

This is one of those places that you've at least heard about. The Yelp boards teem with reviews. It attracts a broad and diverse crowd, one disparate and varied in vital areas such as shagginess of hair, knowledge of Smiths, passport held, and rubberness of necking. That's right, this place (at least the one in Beverly Hills) is a tourist destination. This fact would normally be enough to send me screaming for Echo Park, but since I'm bent on providing a public service here, and tourists need to save money on pricey food and beverages too I rolled up my sleeves, popped my collar, put a decoy shopping bag or two under my arm, and waded in.

I wish now that I hadn't.

"Wait," you might say. "Doesn't this place have a great happy hour food menu, with prices ranging from a mere $1.99 to no more than $6.95?" Don't they have drink specials? What could your beef with this venerable institution be?"

It sucks. That's my beef.

The food is blah, the service is slow, the crowd is terrible, and each day only allows one (1) drink special! No, you can have more than one drink at happy hour prices. But on any given day, there is only one type of drink that is on special. For example, we went on a Friday. Fridays mean Mojitos are on special. Regardless of the fact that I hate Mojitos, I had to suck down three of them if I wanted to catch some Happy Hour happiness. Every other drink behind the bar or on the menu was regularly priced. An I do NOT roll regularly-priced. I roll discounted. It's the way I was raised. To be fair, on Mondays, they do a "well drinks" special, but that's not close enough for this guy's brand of rock-and-roll.

So let's quickly tick off the sins, intentional or not, of McCormick and Schmick's and its so-called Happy Hour.

1) In Beverly Hills and on Rodeo Drive.

2) Crawling with tourists.

3) So-so food, presented as one might toss a bowl of gruel on a table full of orphans, by questionably qualified and seldom available servers (by the way, I worked in the restaurant industry for many, many years, in every imaginable position. I'm allowed to say stuff like this).

4) Only one drink on special. Regardless of how good, cheap, or frequent this drink is, that's a stupid, stupid way to do a Happy Hour special.

In sum, I guess that I learned a valuable lesson during my disappointing trip to McCormick and Schmick's -- even a place that brings people in with the help of a Happy Hour can still be guilty of coasting by on reputation alone. The price was right, but the food, drinks, location, and pretty much everything else were all wrong.

Vitals: The Happy Hour here runs from 4:00pm till 6:30pm, with an encore performance from 9:45pm until 10:30pm. The drink specials are limited, and the food is pretty average. The one major bright spot is the burger and fries for $2.99 -- not a bad-sized portion, either, but get this -- you can't request how you want it done. Huh?

The Happiest of Hours

So after another yet another day of roaming the streets and the internet in search of the biggest possible bang for my ever-dwindling supply of bucks, I was hit with a flashing beam of light of an idea -- why not start a blog that helps the consumer (me, you, and everyone we know) get full of food and drunk for the least amount of money possible? Well, after I finished congratulating myself on such a brilliant idea, I hit up the fine folks at Blogger and registered. It's the first site dedicated to the fine art of finding the smallest plates and the stiffest drinks all over town, all between the hours of 4 and 8pm. OK, late night Happy Hours are OK too.

But I need your help, LA (and Southern California) denizens. Sure, I know a lot places with great Happy Hours, and I know a lot of places with crummy Happy Hours. But I'm pretty sure I don't know all of them, and that's where you can help me out. What are your favorite places for Happy Hour? What bar has the best grub, and what eatery has the best drink specials? Those who don't drink, let me know the best deals on food, and those who subsist solely on rye shots and peanuts, tell me what barstool I can scrape you off of.

I appreciate any tips, hidden deals, reviews, and whatever else anyone wants to offer. Eat, drink, and be merry! And then tell me about it.